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Is God anti-gay? (Book Review) Sam Allberry

allberry

Sam Alberry is a Christian with a unique perspective. He admits that he is same sex attracted, but yet he stands resolutely opposed to fulfilling those attractions. He answers the question of his book title with a negative. Sam is certain that God is not anti-anyone, but if so, then why must he deny himself?

Gay is not who I am — He believes It is unhealthy for sexual preference to be the fundamental identifier of a human. This is why Sam prefers the term “same sex attracted” over the term gay. Just like it would be off to lock someone into the identity of carnivore simply because they like to eat a steak on occasion so to would it be inappropriate to lock someone into a sexual identity. A human is far more than what his natural appetites might be. To build an identity off of this one part of humanity is unfair to the human.

Sex outside of marriage is a bad idea — He believes that sex was intended to be so much more than casual. In a way, sex is like a post-it note. The first time you use it, it sticks well, but when it is reapplied too many times, it loses its capacity to stick to anything. We are simply not designed for multiple sexual relationships. Sex becomes less relational, more functional and less satisfying as a result. Sex is designed to irreversibly knit two people together. When it’s used for anything other than this, despite what the sitcoms preach, there is emptiness, brokenness and devastation.

Marriage needs both genders — He is also convinced that marriage is rooted in gender. It’s the great reunion. God made Eve from Adam, and then in a brilliant stroke, He puts them back together permanently through the sexual union that comes with marriage. Marriage according to God, says Sam, can only be the reunion of these two genders.

Let’s just be friends — According to Sam, a common problem among SSA people, including himself, is what he calls “friendship heroin.” Sam’s tendency, is to develop an unhealthy emotional dependancy on another person. If he is not careful he can get “high” on the affirmation of this friend which can easily result in intense but unhealthy longings. According to Sam, simply knowing this and being able to work through the dangers of “friendship heroin” together, and not “freaking out” is very helpful for people with SSA that really just want regular friendships, not the unhealthy addictive versions.

The Bible is clear — Sam has been told innumerable times that the Old Testament has lots of rules that the modern Christian doesn’t adhere to, so why can’t homosexuality just be one of those now irrelevant rules? Sam’s answer: Jewish civic law and Jewish temple law have been fulfilled in Christ. Those rules don’t apply anymore. However, moral law finds itself restated in the New Testament — specifically covering this particular area. If one wishes to give in to SSA and live in a lifestyle that allows for the fulfillment of those longings, he will have to do it, in opposition to what the Scripture says, something Sam is not willing to do. To quote him directly: “Life is far, far better when Jesus is at the centre, and far, far worse when anyone or anything else is.”  because of this belief he is willing to deny himself, take up his cross, and follow Jesus. Which is actually the calling of all Christians.

I applaud Sam’s tremendous courage to speak out. I am certain that homophobes on one side of him will criticize him unmercifully for his admission to SSA, surely he can’t be a Christian, without denying his same sex attraction they will say. On the other side, the gay activists will take equally unmerciful shots at him, incredulous as to how he could possibly deny his own sexual appetites for the sake of what they are certain is out dated and inaccurate dogma.

Click below to watch a short video of Sam explaining his unique position.

Sam from Living Out on Vimeo.

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What We Believe Matters

d9c3ecf1187afd3ca3005ee7a857adc9 Elliot Rogers, did a bad thing. It’s a bad thing to take the lives of innocent, unsuspecting people. Why did he do it? A common answer will be that he was sick. Medical professionals failed to get the chemicals in his brain properly adjusted and that’s all there is to it. The solution then is to continue to experiment with chemicals so that people won’t act so violently. Another explanation could be that Elliot failed to learn the proper techniques for personal deescalation— if he could only have learned the proper use of breathing & meditation. If he could have utilized happy thought therapy or appropriate distraction techniques then this tragedy could have been averted. I am not convinced that chemical adjustment or technique adaptation is the ultimate solution to preventing this kind of societal harm. Is there another reason why Elliot Rogers did what he did? I think so. He did what he did because of belief. The story that he was believing shaped his life and led him to this dark place. What did he believe?

  • About himself he believed that he was the best and most important person in the world. He refers to himself as “the perfect gentleman.”
  • About women he believed that they were on this earth to give him pleasure
  • About men he believed that none should achieve more pleasure than he.
  • About money he believed that it was the only antidote for his loneliness.

The life story that he believed could be summarized in the following way: I am the most important person in this world, people exist to serve my needs, if they don’t a great injustice has been served me that will require deadly retribution. Society is built to produce pleasure only for the rich, beautiful, and famous. Because I am unable to accomplish these necessary life enhancers I will react destructively against a society that guarantees my misery. All that matters is the pleasure that a life can produce, if a life cannot produce pleasure (in particular sexual pleasure) than it’s not worth living. Is there another story, that could have shaped Elliot’s life?

  • About himself: What if he believed that he was a broken person, but in that brokeness he had been met with Divine sacrificial love, which led him to be convinced that no matter what he was loved and forgiven.
  • About women: What if he believed that he was put on this earth to serve and bless others as an act of worship to this God of forgiveness.
  • About men: What if he believed that he was called to rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep instead of comparing and resenting.
  • About money: What if he believed that he was never truly alone because the Spirit of God was with him. What if he believed that he was inseparably and organically connected to a body of people that loved the same God and in this he could find a loving community that cared little for riches, fame, or external beauty.

This is a real story, it’s the Jesus story. Countless millions have shaped their life around this story. Why would we push this story to the margins of our society? Why would we choose to ignore it? Why not embrace it? If Elliot grew up shaping his life around this story, none of us would be talking about him right now, and a lot fewer tears would have been shed in California over the weekend. If you care to hear Elliot’s final speech, click the link below. We all needed him so badly to believe a different story. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=50JbI4-V-UQ

What is Church

What if church looked like this? Would you be interested? Welcome to Meta.

When Leaders Let You Down

Don’t let disappointment destroy you

Don’t let disappointment destroy you. 3 min video

Is there away to prevent yourself from becoming bitter when others let you down? The only way that I know of I learned from Jesus.

Ocean Swimming & Christianity (IBT #1)

IBT stands for “I’ve Been Thinking” A visual blog

I have a lot of thoughts that are rolling around in my brain about all kinds of stuff. You probably do too. I am hoping to share these thoughts with you and hoping you will interact with them, that way we both can learn together.

How Bad Can You Be?

Ideas have consequences:

If chance existence followed by natural selection and survival of the fittest are true, how bad can you be? The Lorax gives us the answer, see video clip